The Hidden Truth Behind Mainstream's Favorite Slang

James Harrison · 2026-10-12

Ever catch yourself saying "spill the tea" or "it's giving"? These phrases have become so common that it's easy to forget where they came from. But for trans activist Princess Jezebel, that forgetting is exactly the problem. Jezebel, a London-based dominatrix and founder of a support community for trans and non-binary BDSM professionals, is speaking out about how language born in Black and Latino queer, drag, and ballroom culture has been absorbed into the mainstream—while the very people who created it are still marginalized. ### The Contradiction We Ignore Think about it: terms like "serving," "clocking the tea," "cunty," "doll," and "diva" are now part of everyday internet slang. Yet the communities that gave us these words—especially trans women of color—are often portrayed as dangerous or deviant in the same media that celebrates their language. "As a trans child, I remember watching The Silence of the Lambs with my brothers and sisters when I was 12 and seeing Buffalo Bill presented through the imagery of gender transition as a murderous predator," Jezebel recalls. "I grew up in a media culture that taught audiences to fear people like me, and now I live in a world where that same culture hijacks our language for cultural capital. There is an extraordinary contradiction in celebrating what trans people create while continuing to demonize trans people themselves." That contradiction isn't new. Jezebel points to Madonna's 1990 hit "Vogue," which brought ballroom culture to the masses after it had been developed in predominantly Black and Latino LGBTQ+ communities. The pattern repeated: adopt, repackage, commercialize—without centering the originators. ### Why Language Matters Language is more than just words. It's a form of identity, resistance, and survival. When mainstream culture takes our phrases but ignores our struggles, it's not just rude—it's a form of erasure. It allows people to enjoy the creativity of marginalized groups while still holding onto prejudices against them. Jezebel's work isn't just about calling out appropriation. She's also building community. As the founder of a network for trans and non-binary BDSM professionals across the UK and Ireland, she knows firsthand the importance of creating spaces where marginalized people can thrive without having to fight for recognition. You can follow Princess Jezebel on Instagram or visit her website to learn more about her advocacy and community work. ### What Can You Do? So, what's the takeaway? Next time you use a phrase like "spill the tea," take a moment to remember where it came from. Educate yourself about the history of ballroom culture and the trans women who built it. Support trans creators and activists. And most importantly, listen to voices like Jezebel's—because they're not just speaking for themselves; they're speaking for a whole community that deserves respect and recognition. In a world that often profits off marginalized cultures while pushing those same people to the margins, it's time to flip the script. Celebrate the language, but also celebrate—and protect—the people who created it.