The Hidden Cost of 'Serving' and 'Spilling Tea': Princess Jezebel on Trans Language Theft

Michael Miller · 2026-10-12

Princess Jezebel is calling attention to a contradiction that's hard to ignore: the same culture that demonizes trans people can't stop using their language. Terms like "serving," "it's giving," "spill the tea," "clocking the tea," "cunty," "doll," and "diva" have become everyday slang for young people and internet culture. But these words didn't come from nowhere. They were shaped within Black and Latino queer, drag, and ballroom communities—with trans women at the center. Now, mainstream culture uses them for cultural capital while still portraying trans people as dangerous, deviant, or disposable. ### The Personal Is Political Jezebel, a London-based professional dominatrix and founder of a community for trans and non-binary BDSM professionals across the UK and Ireland, knows this contradiction firsthand. "As a trans child, I remember watching The Silence of the Lambs with my brothers and sisters when I was 12 and seeing Buffalo Bill presented through the imagery of gender transition as a murderous predator," she said. "I grew up in a media culture that taught audiences to fear people like me, and now I live in a world where that same culture hijacks our language for cultural capital. There is an extraordinary contradiction in celebrating what trans people create while continuing to demonise trans people themselves." That memory isn't just a childhood scar. It's a reminder of how media has long framed trans identity as something to fear—while simultaneously stealing its most vibrant expressions. ### A Pattern as Old as Pop Culture Jezebel points to Madonna's 1990 hit "Vogue" as a clear historical parallel. The song brought ballroom culture to a mass audience after it had been developed within predominantly Black and Latino LGBTQ+ communities. Its mainstream success reflected a pattern that continues today: trans and queer culture can be adopted, repackaged, and commercialized without adequately centering the creators and originators who developed it. And those communities? They remain marginalized. So what's the takeaway? Language is power. When mainstream culture lifts words like "serving" and "spill the tea" without lifting up the people who created them, it's not just appropriation—it's erasure. It's a way of taking the cool parts while leaving the struggle behind. ### Why This Matters in 2026 In 2026, this conversation is more relevant than ever. Social media has made slang spread faster than ever, but it's also made it easier to forget where those words come from. For Jezebel, the solution isn't to stop using the language—it's to acknowledge its roots and support the communities that gave it to us. That means listening to trans voices, amplifying trans creators, and recognizing that culture is not a free-for-all. It's a gift. And gifts come with responsibilities. You can follow Princess Jezebel at TransPrincessJezebel.com and on Instagram at @transprincessjezebel to hear more of her commentary on trans identity, media, and culture. This post was originally published on TRPWL.